Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
When you ask friends to do a you a favor, it’s definitely Guy Code to also provide them with some sort of compensation. Often, that compensation ends up being free pizza. How many times have you been asked to help a friend move, only to be given a mediocre pie in return?
Everyone loves pizza, but we’re tired of it being the standard form of payment for doing someone a favor. Don’t you want to be a truly good friend? Don’t you want people to want to help you out? Then here’s why you should ditch pizza and step up your favor game.
Pizza Is Too Cheap
Is your friend broke? Can he really not afford to buy himself pizza? We understand that the reward for a favor has to be cheaper than the actual favor (otherwise, who’s doing whom the favor?), but you can do better than covering a few measly bucks worth of slices per person.
Alternate Reward: Are you the broke one? Then offer to be the designated driver for an evening, and let him pick wherever he wants to go.
Pizza Is Too Plentiful
If you offer somebody pizza, do you think they’re going to say, “Pizza?! I heard my Italian grandfather tell stories of it, but I’ve never actually tasted this mythic delicacy!” Of course not. It’s not special. Pizza is so abundant that, if it doesn’t get to you in 30 minutes or less, you can eat it for free. Can something that’s essentially free truly count as payment?
Alternate Reward: Pre-agree to a trade in next year’s fantasy football league that has a value relative to the favor you’re asking.
Pizza Is Too Frequent
If you offer your friend pizza, there’s a good chance that he’s already eaten pizza that week — and even has leftovers in the fridge. There’s basically pizza coming out of his eyeballs; it’s the last thing he wants to eat, even if it’s free. All that cheese isn’t good for him.
Alternate Reward: There’s probably a good sandwich place he wanted to try. Take him out to lunch.
Pizza Is Too Expected
Giving pizza to a friend who’s doing you a favor is like giving your dad a tie on Father’s Day. Not only is it boring and clichéd, it shows that you’re essentially ungrateful for this person, put no thought into his gift whatsoever and are just waiting for him to die so you can get his money.
Alternate Reward: Give him the same thoughtful present you give your dad: An “I love you, man” once every 10 years.
Pizza Is Too…Delicious
Who are we kidding? Of course we’ll take some pizza. We are powerless against it. What time should we come over?
Alternate Additional Reward: If you also throw in a six pack, we’ll work a lot harder. Thanks.
Photo credit: Getty Images
+ For more on doing favors, watch “Guy Code” Wednesday at 11/10c on MTV2
+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+