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Today’s Dumbass: Pizza Delivery Guy Sold Cocaine With Calzones

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pizza drugs
Photo: Police Handout

Usually when a pizza place tries to up-sell you on some coke, it comes by the liter and not by the kilo. But the NYPD is accusing 45-year-old Papa John’s driver Ramon Rodriguez of delivering drugs in addition to pies.

Allegedly, Rodriguez’s run as the Scarface of Sicilian food came to an end when he sold undercover cops $27,500 worth of cocaine hidden inside a box of chicken poppers. According to police, Rodriguez made over 19 such deliveries in uniform, often voicing concern that his drug deals were distracting him from his pizza duties.

Coworkers regarded Rodriguez as a model employee and were shocked to hear the charges…especially that he had $4,500 in cash at home. “He used to hit us for money for food and gas–we were always giving him $20 to $30 at a time,” his manager told the New York Daily News, nevertheless adding, “He was the best driver I got.”

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Sean Green is a standup comedian and podcast host living in LA.

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